This Is Why HalfBloods Shouldn't Read
by Caramel Cheescake
Summary: After reading Warriors, Thalia finds some similarities between Fireheart and Percy. When Percy adamantly denies this, they make a bet. What are the stakes and who will win? Set about a month after The Last Olympian. Please read Author's Note at the top.


A/N: Hi. In order for you guys to understand some things in this story, I have to give a few explanations. Number one, in my imagination, Nico is living with Percy and his parents and going to a middle school close to their house. Number two, also in my imagination, Percy and Nico go to Half-Blood hill every weekend. And number three, Thalia isn't with the Huntresses (I know that it's Hunters in the book, but I think that that name is a bit sexist) because she is waiting for her legs to heal.

Got that? Okay, read on!

* * *

Thalia started laughing. Hysterically.

I honestly thought that she had gone crazy.

"Um, Thalia? You okay?

For a few seconds, she ignored me. Then she got her breathing under control.

"Oh my gods, Percy, he's just like _you_!"

"Uh, who is?"

"Fireheart!"

For the last few weeks, Thalia had been reading Warriors, by some woman named Erin Hunter. It's about cats, so I figured that it was some Huntress thing. She was on the first series, and she was almost finished, so I was pretty sure that she'd stop bugging me and trying to get me to read it.

"How is he like me?"

Thalia pushed some of her hair out of her eyes. She'd let it grow a little, and I thought that it looked pretty good, but she'd probably punch me in the stomach if I told her that.

"There are these two she-cats that like him, and they pretty much hate each other, and one's a medicine cat, so she can't be with him anyway, and the other one hated him when she first met him, but is now making an effort to tolerate him because she likes him. And he doesn't even realize it until the medicine cat tells him."

I stare at Thalia blankly for a minute.

"How is that like me?"

She stares back at me. "Percy, you mouse-brain."

What?

"When you first came to Camp Half-Blood, Annabeth couldn't stand you, right? But when you two had to go into the labyrinth with Rachael, Annabeth totally hated Rachael, and Rachael wasn't crazy about Annabeth either. And according to Annabeth, Rachael, Nico, Grover, and Tyson, you had no idea that that was the reason they didn't get along."

I can feel my cheeks heating up. That's _nothing_ like me! First of all, that cat sounds like an idiot, and second of all, I had _some_ idea why Annabeth and Rachael didn't get along, I just wasn't sure!

...okay, I had no idea, but that cat is still _nothing_ like me.

"Thalia, that stupid cat is _nothing_ like me."

"Sure he is. Ask anybody," she snorts.

"Oh, yeah?" I shoot back. "You ask anybody, and I'll bet you that they won't think that Fireheart dude is like me."

"First of all, he's a _cat_, not a dude. Second of all, what do you bet?"

I think about it. "If I lose, I'll be your personal slave for five days. But if I win, you have to write my book report about a book I chose."

Thalia shakes her head. "I'll ask seven people. If at least five of them think that you and Fireheart are alike, then you have to be my personal slave for five days, _and_ read three books that I pick out. If less than five think that you and Fireheart are alike, then I'll write your book report, _and_ give you twenty bucks for doing it. Deal?"

I hold out my right hand. "Deal."

We shake on it, then she grabs her crutches and we head to the Apollo cabin.

* * *

The first person we ask is the new Apollo cabin camp councilor, Chris Rodriguez. Turns out that he's a child of Apollo.

"Hey, Chris."

He looks up from his arrow making. "Hey Thalia. Percy. "

"I have a question," Thalia says. She holds up the Warriors book that she's reading. "In this book, there's this one character that's totally clueless about why two she-cats, who both like him, hate each other so much. In the end, one she-cat tells him, and that's when he finally gets it."

That isn't how she explained it to me...

"Does that remind you of anybody you know?"

Chris responds easily. "Yeah. Percy."

Oh Styx.

Thalia smiles at him, then smirks at me. "Thanks Chris."

As we walk away, she says, "Thalia one, Percy, nil."

* * *

We go to the training grounds next, where Clarisse is beating the crap out of some poor new camper who signed up for sword fighting.

"Clarisse!" I call out over the thuds.

She stops hitting the kid and turns toward me, and he backs up about eight feet.

"What do you want, Prissy?"

I grimace at the name, but keep talking.

"Thalia is reading this book where one of the characters has two she-cats fighting-"

"She-cat?"

"The book is about cats. Now, there are these two she-cats fighting over one guy cat-"

"Male cats are called toms, Percy." Thalia cuts in. I ignore her.

"-and the guy cat doesn't understand why they're fighting until one of the she-cats say that they both like him. Does that remind you of anybody?"

"No. Is it supposed to?

"Nope. You can go back to beating that kid up now." The kid behind her cringes.

"Don't tell me what to do, Jackson!" Clarisse turns around and yells at the kid to stop being a coward and get back in the fight.

I smirk at Thalia. "Now we're even."

She snorts. "That's because you didn't ask clearly.

As we walk towards the Hermes cabin, the thuds start again.

* * *

As we approach the Hermes cabin, Travis and Conner barrel into me and Thalia from behind.

After we all get up, Thalia says, "We were looking for you two."

Conner's brown eyes widen. "Whatever happened, I had nothing to do with it! It's Travis's fault!"

Travis smacks him on the back of his head, and Thalia and I both give him a weird look.

"Anyway," Thalia says, holding up the Warriors book she's reading. "The main character of this book is liked by two female characters who hate each other, because they both like him. Only, he doesn't know that they both like him, so he has no idea why they hate each other. Does that remind you of anybody?"

"Oh! I know!" Conner is bouncing on his toes like a two year old on a sugar high. I get a sudden glimpse of when he must've looked like when he was younger: a skinny little toddler with curly brown hair and big brown eyes. He probably got away with a lot more back then.

Travis smacks Conner on the back of his head again. "Stop doing that."

"Ow! But it's Percy, right?"

Travis smirks. "Yeah, it is."

Thalia grins at both of them. "Thanks."

As we walk towards the woods, she says, "Two birds with one stone. Now, the score is Thalia, three, Percy, one."

I narrow my eyes. "You didn't tell them the last part."

"So? I didn't need to."

"Whatever."

* * *

We find Grover talking to Juniper.

"Hey, G-Man!"

He looks towards me and Thalia and grins. "You're reading Warriors! Hey, doesn't Fireheart remind you of Percy?"

Thalia grabs my arm and starts unsteadily pulling me towards to Big House. "That's all we needed, thanks!"

Di immortales, I'm going to lose this bet.

* * *

When we knock on the door of the Big House, Chiron opens it, looking vaguely worried.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Chiron, we have a question." Thalia says.

Chiron just looks at her for a sec, then says, "Okay," cautiously.

"See, I'm reading this book," she holds up Warriors. "And the main character has these two she-cats that like him."

"I see."

"Now, the she-cats don't get along, and the main character has no idea why. Finally one of the she-cats says that they both like him, and then the main character finally understands why the she-cats don't like each other. Does that remind you of anybody?"

Chiron considers it. Then he says, "Does it matter?"

I quickly say, "No it doesn't, thanks!", and drag Thalia away before she can say anything else.

I am _so_ going to lose this bet.

* * *

On our way to the Athena cabin, Nico literally _appears_ out of the shadows of another cabin and scares the crap out of me and Thalia.

He snickers. "'Sup guys?"

Thalia takes a deep shuddering breath. "First of all, never do that to me again, second of-"

Nico interrupts. "Hey, I didn't know that you two were going to be here. I was just practicing my shadow traveling, making sure I don't end up in China again. Hey, is that Warriors?"

Thalia nods. "Does Fireheart remind you of anybody?"

Nico shrugs. "Dunno. Wasn't really paying attention to him."

Thalia gapes at him. "How do you _not_ pay attention to him? He's the _main_ _character_!"

"All I was reading the books for was to read about ShadowClan, Tawnypelt, Brambleclaw, and Ravenpaw. I have all of the Ravenpaw's Path books. Oh, and Scourge. I have Battles of the Clans too."

I sigh with relief while Thalia sighs with exasperation.

"Well, thanks anyway." She says. "Wait, Brambleclaw and Tawnypelt?"

Nico smirks. "I have the original series, The New Prophecy, Firestar's Quest, Bluestar's Prophecy, Ravenpaw's Path, The Rise of Scourge, and Battles of the Clans." He sees us looking at him weirdly. "What?"

...well, that would explain all of the extra boxes.

"Nothing." I say, and tug on Thalia's arm. "We have to go."

As we get closer to the Athena cabin, Thalia says, "You're still going to lose."

I snort.

* * *

"Hey Annabeth?"

Annabeth doesn't look up from the laptop Daedalus gave her. "What?"

"In this book series that I'm reading, the main character has two she-cats that like him and hate each other because of it. The main character doesn't realize this, so he has no idea why they hate each other. In the end, one she-cat tells the main character that the reason they hate each other is because they both like, but the she-cat that told the main character is the medicine cat, so she can't be with him anyway. Does the main character remind you of anybody?"

Annabeth looks up then.

"Yeah. My stupid boyfriend."

"_Crap_!"

Annabeth looks at me, then Thalia.

"What's with him?"

Thalia smirks. "Nothing. He just lost a bet."

"Oh."

* * *

"Oh calm down Percy, it isn't going to kill you."

I look down at the three books that Thalia gave to me. The Rise of Scourge by Erin Hunter, The Ruins of Gorlan by John Flanagan, and 39 Clues by Rick Riordan.

I hold out 39 Clues.

"I'm not going to read this."

Thalia sighs heavily, takes the book from me, and pulls out Invisible by Pete Hautman.

"You'll like this one, trust me. And remember, you're my slave for two and a half weekends."

"Goodie."

"Oh, don't look so glum. The Rise of Scourge is a manga."

"Which is...?"

"A Japanese comic book. And before you start complaining, it's written in English."

When I'm almost to the car with Nico and Argus, she calls out, "And trust me, you'll get addicted to Ranger's Apprentice!"

Fat chance.

* * *

By the time Nico and I are halfway home, I finish The Rise of Scourge.

"That was actually a good book."

Nico glances at me. "Don't get too excited. Scourge gets killed."

"He what? But he worked so hard!"

"He was evil. And he tried to wipe out the Clans."

I hesitate. "He does? Why?"

Nico smirks at me.

"You'll have to read it to find out, now won't you?"

"...fine."

"I'll lend you Into the Forest when we get home."

You see, this is why half-bloods shouldn't read. Once they get started, they _just_ _can't_ _stop_.

And Thalia was right. I did get addicted to Ranger's Apprentice. You should too.

* * *

A/N: This is the longest one-shot I have ever written. It's also my twelfth story, so please review and congratulate me.

About the choice in books, I own the first and second series' of Warriors, Battles of the Clans, and The Rise of Scourge. I've read Bluestar's Prophecy, but I don't own it. And I've never read any of the Ravenpaw mangas. I have read, but do not own, Invisible by Pete Hautman, and I own Ranger's Apprentice books One to Six. I've also read Book Seven. I believe that people should get addicted to Ranger's Apprentice. I also that, if you are a fan, you should go to my profile and participate in the challenge you find at the top. Please?


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